A glossary of non-monogamy terms
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Exploring the world of non-monogamy can be both exciting and confusing, especially if you're new to the terminology. Here's a handy glossary to help you navigate this complex but fascinating realm of relationships.
1. Non-Monogamy
A broad umbrella term for any relationship style that involves more than two people. Unlike monogamy, where individuals have one partner, non-monogamous relationships allow for multiple romantic or sexual partners.
2. Polyamory
A relationship style where individuals have multiple romantic partners simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The focus is often on emotional connections and long-term relationships.
3. Open Relationship
A form of non-monogamy where a couple allows each other to have sexual relationships with other people. These encounters are usually casual and do not involve emotional attachment.
4. Swinging
A practice where committed couples engage in sexual activities with other couples or individuals. Swinging is often seen as a recreational activity and is more focused on sexual rather than emotional connections.
5. Relationship Anarchy
A philosophy that rejects traditional societal norms about relationships. Relationship anarchists prioritize individual autonomy and do not categorize relationships by their significance or type, allowing each relationship to develop naturally without predefined expectations.
6. Triad
A relationship involving three people who are all romantically and/or sexually involved with each other. Triads can be either open or closed (exclusive).
7. Quad
Similar to a triad, but involving four people. Quads can form in various ways, such as two couples coming together or a triad adding another person.
8. Vee (or V) Relationship
A relationship structure where one person is romantically or sexually involved with two people who are not involved with each other. The person at the point of the V is often referred to as the "hinge" or "pivot."
9. Compersion
A feeling of joy or happiness when a partner experiences pleasure or happiness with another person. Often described as the opposite of jealousy, compersion is a key concept in many non-monogamous communities.
10. Metamour
A term used to describe your partner's other partner. For example, if you are in a relationship with someone who also has another partner, that person is your metamour.
11. Primary Partner
A partner with whom you have a primary or central relationship. This can involve living together, sharing finances, or prioritizing this relationship above others. Non-monogamous people may have one or more primary partners.
12. Secondary Partner
A partner who has a significant but less central role in your life compared to a primary partner. Secondary relationships can still be deeply meaningful and committed.
13. Hierarchical Polyamory
A type of polyamory where relationships are ranked in order of importance. Typically, primary partners have more influence or priority over secondary or tertiary partners.
14. Non-Hierarchical Polyamory
A form of polyamory where all relationships are considered equal in importance. There is no ranking or prioritizing of partners, and each relationship is valued for its unique qualities.
15. Solo Polyamory
A relationship style where individuals maintain their independence and do not seek to merge their lives with their partners. Solo polyamorists often live alone and prioritize their autonomy while still engaging in multiple relationships.
16. Ethical Non-Monogamy
A catch-all term for any form of non-monogamous relationship that is conducted with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. Honesty, communication, and respect are key principles.
17. Kitchen Table Polyamory
A form of polyamory where all members of a polycule (network of polyamorous relationships) are comfortable spending time together, including in casual, everyday settings like around the kitchen table.
18. Parallel Polyamory
A style of polyamory where partners prefer to keep their relationships separate. While they know about each other's other relationships, they do not necessarily interact or have close bonds with their metamours.
19. Comet Partner
A romantic or sexual partner who lives far away or only appears in your life occasionally, with no obligations between encounters.
20. Nesting Partners
Partners with whom you share a living space, though they are not necessarily your primary partner.
21. One-Penis Partnership (OPP)
A rule where a man permits his female partner to engage sexually with others, provided they do not have a penis.
22. Polysaturated
When you have reached the maximum number of partners or commitments you can manage.
23. Monogamish
A term popularized by Dan Savage, describing a relationship that is mostly monogamous but allows for occasional physical encounters with others.
24. New-Relationship Energy
The intense excitement and emotional high of beginning a new romantic relationship, which can be both a major benefit and a source of anxiety in polyamorous relationships.
25. Primary Partners
In hierarchical non-monogamy, this is the most significant relationship, prioritized above others in terms of time, commitment, and loyalty, often involving shared living spaces, finances, or children.
26. Relationship Escalator
The traditional progression of monogamous relationships, from dating to exclusivity, cohabitation, marriage, merging finances, and having children—a path many non-monogamous people choose to question or avoid..
27. Veto Power
A concept where primary partners can influence or veto each other's external relationships, either due to excessive time spent with another person or objections to the partner themselves, though it remains a contentious issue within non-monogamy.