It’s time to feel
When we don't take the time to think about our feelings, we may be more likely to act them out rather than express them with words. This can take many forms, such as lashing out in anger, withdrawing from others, or engaging in self-destructive behaviours.
Acting out our feelings in this way can be harmful to ourselves and others, as it can lead to damaged relationships, physical harm, and emotional distress. By taking the time to think about our feelings, we can start to understand them more clearly, which can help us express them in a more constructive way.
Thinking allows us to reflect on our experiences and identify the underlying emotions that are driving our behaviour. For example, if we're feeling angry, we might start to think about what's causing that anger. We might consider whether we feel threatened, disrespected, or misunderstood, and how those feelings are contributing to our anger. By identifying these underlying emotions, we can start to express them in a more constructive way, such as by communicating our needs and boundaries to others.
Processing our feelings through thinking can also help us gain insight into patterns in our behaviour and relationships. For example, if we notice that we frequently feel anxious or overwhelmed in certain situations, we can start to think about why that might be the case. By exploring our thoughts and emotions, we can identify patterns and develop strategies for managing our emotions in a more healthy and constructive way.
In summary, without taking the time to think about our feelings, we may be more likely to act them out in harmful ways. By engaging in self-reflection and taking time to understand and process our feelings, we can express them in a more constructive way, gain insight into patterns in our behaviour and relationships, and promote greater emotional well-being.
Many people believe that by avoiding thinking about difficult feelings, they can avoid experiencing those feelings altogether. This belief can be understandable, as facing painful emotions can be a daunting and overwhelming experience. However, avoiding difficult feelings by not thinking about them can actually lead to more problems in the long run.
When we avoid thinking about our difficult emotions, we may resort to various forms of avoidance or distraction. For example, we might engage in activities that help us forget about our feelings, such as overeating, oversleeping, or using substances like drugs or alcohol. We might also distract ourselves by staying busy or avoiding situations that trigger our difficult emotions.
While these strategies may provide temporary relief, they ultimately prevent us from addressing the root causes of our difficult emotions. By avoiding our emotions, we may be missing out on valuable opportunities for growth and healing. Instead of facing our emotions and addressing them, we might be burying them deep inside, where they can continue to fester and grow.
Moreover, avoiding difficult feelings can lead to a buildup of stress and tension in our bodies and minds, which can have negative effects on our physical and mental health. Over time, this can lead to chronic health problems, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, anxiety, and depression. Here are some of Freud’s thoughts on the matter.
Here are some ways to help identify and think about your feelings:
Practice self-awareness: One of the first steps to expressing our emotions in a healthy way is to become more aware of our feelings. Take some time each day to check in with yourself and notice how you're feeling. Try to name your emotions without judgment or criticism.
Use "I" statements: When expressing your emotions to your partner, try to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "you always do this," try saying "I feel hurt when this happens."
Be specific: Try to be as specific as possible when expressing your emotions. Rather than saying "I feel bad," try saying "I feel sad because of this particular thing that happened."
Listen actively: When your partner expresses their emotions, make an effort to really listen and understand where they're coming from. Don't interrupt or dismiss their feelings, even if you don't agree with them.